Anacortes Art Dash 5k

Another day another 5k! Saturday we met up with a friend and her daughter to drive out to Anacortes for their Art Dash. Again, my legs cramped up on me like they did during the first 5k I did. But I still managed to get through it with the help of my running buddy. (Thank you!!)

My time wasn't terrible, but I want to make it so much better. I really want to start getting my times down.

But the upside is that I had a really great time. Our friend and her daughter are wonderfully charming and friendly people. We had met up with them at the Do Life 5k on Wednesday, but didn't spend that much time with them. This time we had breakfast (and coffee) together, and ran together. It was a great time!

I ran in probably the last quarter mile (maybe not that far, but it was a distance!) and it felt good. There is nothing like the adrenaline of seeing the finish line in front of you. It was a beautiful run. Definitely worth it. And there are always such nice people running with you. Great 4th 5k of the year.... 4 down, 6 to go!

Tiffany Does Life

A few months ago I stumbled across Ben Davis's blog, Ben Does Life. He lost over 100 pounds by running with his brother (who also lost a great deal of weight). I found someone who has done, and is still doing, exactly what I wanted to do. I am fat, but I wanted to run so badly.

So I started following his blog. He's funny, charming, and brutally honest about what he's doing. Then they announced in late May, early June that they were putting together a tour of the US with organized 5k runs at every stop. Needless to say.... I was giddy. Ben is a huge inspiration to me and I was going to be able to meet him (and Pa!) and do a race with all these people that are readers as well? Where do I sign up??

Everyone who showed up for the run. Photobombed by a kissy couple in the back! :)

Needless to say, when they got to Seattle I was giddy. We were the last stop on their tour and I think we sent them off with a bang. At one point Ben ran along-side me when I was having a really hard time with my pacing and breathing. He's good people.

I actually ran more of this race than I have my previous two, and managed to knock 4:22 minutes off my run-time. (Went from 53:43 to 49:21) And made some awesome friends in the meantime!

Start Line... which was about 10 feet from the finish line. Too bad I couldn't just run THAT bit.

And we're off! Look at that sweet pony-tail action I've got going on!

I look happy, and I'm running. Yes this was EARLY on in the race. And my friend in the purple is Mindi. Met her there and she stayed with me for most of the run. She is awesome!

Ben and me. He is just as awesome in person as you'd expect from reading his blog.

Couldn't leave without a picture with Pa. He is as much an inspiration as both of his sons are.

The Shirt. You can't run a race without getting The Shirt!

I'm dying and sore today. But it was worth it. I had a really great time. It was well worth every minutes of the run.

TMI Post: Naked Conversations

This may be too much information for some of my readers. If you don't want to read anything about nudity or women's locker rooms, please go to a place where you won't be nearly as scandalized.... like here.

Okay, now that all the squeamish are gone I can talk.

There is this strange phenomenon happening that kind of tweaks my brain. My M-W-F workouts are done with 3 other women that I am friends with and work with. We all get changed in front of each other and shower. At first it was strange. At first it wigged me out that I was completely clothes-less in front of people with which I would have to attend meetings later.

Over time this weirdness started going away. Now it doesn't phase me much and we have long drawn out conversations while getting our regular clothes on and out of our sweaty gear. I am completely comfortable around these women and I don't think much about body modesty or self-consciousness.

Today, however, I held an entire conversation, pre-shower, with a woman I had never met before. She was also in the middle of changing and we were having a really interesting conversation on losing weight and how it effects your shoe size. (Bonus, she says that she was a 10-11 and went down to about an 8 and a half... there's hope for me yet!)

For some perspective, I was always the girl who faced the corner while I changed. I always tried to get dressed (and undressed) without anyone seeing an inch of my body. I would creatively arrange my towel, take my bra off under my shirt and slide my new shirt on over my head quickly. But not so much anymore.

I'm beginning to learn to not care so much about what other people think about my body. I have come a long way from my days at 315 pounds. I'm still overweight. There is no possible way to hide that from anyone with eyes. So why should I worry myself over it? And concerning the naked locker room conversations? I assume that if the other person weren't comfortable they wouldn't continue the conversation. Until someone tells me otherwise, I don't see my behavior changing.

No More Whining

It's taken me an entire week to get past the news from the doctor. A week full of snippy remarks to friends and family. A week full of wanting to do nothing more than stay curled up in bed and not talk to anyone ever.

Yea, I was throwing a grown-up temper tantrum. I was pissed off. I was sad. I was angry at both myself for not doing better, and at my specialist for talking down to me. I was so unsure of what to do. I was scared and felt that no one understood just how terrifying it all was.

A week post-appointment, however, I am back in the gym. Today I went back with a vengeance. I was not going to let this beat me anymore. I wasn't told that I was going to die any time soon. These things are controllable. Why am I giving it all this power?

No more whining. Just moving and sweating and getting it done. Rawr!

Falling In

I am frustrated. The news from the doctor has the usual tailspin going on. I realize I am over-reacting and that I have all the power to change things... but right now it's pulling me into this deep emotional crater.

Working out seems useless anymore. I did the whole 8 week program, I did cardio 3 days a week, and I ran a 3.55 obstacle course. All of these things, and my health hasn't changed save for getting worse. What's the point, right?

This post isn't about a pity party. It's not about garnering sympathy or fishing for compliments. It's to show those of you who are on the same journey I am that we all have days like these. I am discouraged. I am sad. I am emotionally eating and snapping at my friends and loved ones. I feel like it's not only the scale, mocking me with its unmovable numbers, but now my vital bodily processes are joining in on the bullying.

There is nothing more I want right now than to just lie in bed, forget that life is happening outside my bedroom window and give up. I don't understand what the purpose is of all the sweating, all the pushing, and all the pain if I'm not getting results?

Today is a day of weakness. I am human and flawed just like everyone else. Not a rockstar today.

Another Disappointing Check-Up

I went to the doctor today for my usual 3-month diabetes check-up. I knew that my blood sugar had been high recently due to being sick. But what ended up happening has thrown me for a huge loop. Not only did my blood sugar A1c numbers climb +0.3, but my cholesterol has jumped about 45 points from "perfectly normal" to "we want you to start taking meds for it".

Luckily, my doctor is amazing and doesn't jump to the "meds fix everything" conclusion all the time. She has given me the next 3 months to get things under control, but it has me in a tail-spin.

I don't know what to eat. I am afraid to eat. I know myself far to well, and if I don't get this tailspin under control, I may just stop eating altogether. Meds are always the very last option on my list. So I feel I need to get this under control, and that while I have the option to stay off meds, I want to keep it that way. I'm just at a loss right now as to what to put on my plate

I guess my problem right now is that I'm frustrated. I'm 30 years old and this year has been so up and down with my health that it's got me spinning. First the diabetes, then the cyst and surgery, and now my cholesterol is through the roof. All during the year that I have learned to cook, gotten settled in a new home and started working out on a regular basis.

Tonight I am carting myself off to my first Zumba class with Tonja, hoping it will work off some of the frustration and anger I am experiencing right now. Because the only other option is to emotionally eat. And that isn't so much an option after all.

The Day After

Yesterday still seems like a dream to me. A painful, grueling, rain and mud-soaked dream. That is until I see the bruises showing up on my legs. Or until I catch a glimpse of my medal or bracelet... then I remember how real it was.

It's going to take me a while to come down from the high that yesterday created. I did a lot of things that I never thought that I could ever do. I conquered my squeamishness when it comes to getting dirty. I faced my fear of heights and falling only to overcome those as well.

Maybe I'm a freak of nature or maybe this is normal, but I am loving the fact I'm all battered and bruised. The pain isn't exactly fun, but the proof that I'm a badass is pretty awesome. These prove that I did something yesterday. I didn't wimp out. I didn't slack. I pushed myself until I could push no further. At no point during the race did I even consider giving up. It wasn't an option. Could I have gone to one of the medics along the route and told them I wanted to go back to the start line? Yup. I sure could have. But I was bound and determined to get this done.

It helps, tremendously, to have someone with you who is supportive and will keep you going. I was luck enough to have that in Tonja. This race, mentally, was easier than our first 5k. But it was still really tough in spots. Emotionally I wavered from pumped to depressed, from giddy to exhausted. She kept me going.

And now I have these bruises to prove I didn't give up. I didn't give in to the cold, the wet, the pain or the fear. I'm officially a Warrior. When the bruises heal, I have a medal to continue proving it!