Okay, now that all the squeamish are gone I can talk.
There is this strange phenomenon happening that kind of tweaks my brain. My M-W-F workouts are done with 3 other women that I am friends with and work with. We all get changed in front of each other and shower. At first it was strange. At first it wigged me out that I was completely clothes-less in front of people with which I would have to attend meetings later.
Over time this weirdness started going away. Now it doesn't phase me much and we have long drawn out conversations while getting our regular clothes on and out of our sweaty gear. I am completely comfortable around these women and I don't think much about body modesty or self-consciousness.
Today, however, I held an entire conversation, pre-shower, with a woman I had never met before. She was also in the middle of changing and we were having a really interesting conversation on losing weight and how it effects your shoe size. (Bonus, she says that she was a 10-11 and went down to about an 8 and a half... there's hope for me yet!)
For some perspective, I was always the girl who faced the corner while I changed. I always tried to get dressed (and undressed) without anyone seeing an inch of my body. I would creatively arrange my towel, take my bra off under my shirt and slide my new shirt on over my head quickly. But not so much anymore.
I'm beginning to learn to not care so much about what other people think about my body. I have come a long way from my days at 315 pounds. I'm still overweight. There is no possible way to hide that from anyone with eyes. So why should I worry myself over it? And concerning the naked locker room conversations? I assume that if the other person weren't comfortable they wouldn't continue the conversation. Until someone tells me otherwise, I don't see my behavior changing.
Wow. I could have basically written this entry of yours.
ReplyDeleteMy sister and I own our own little company, and we only have two employees in total, two lovely women that we also count as our good friends.
The four of us swim together at a local Y every Wednesday night. The women's locker room only has open group-showers, no dividers or curtains or anything, everyone is right out in the open.
Of the four of us, I'm the only one that showers in a swimsuit after we swim. My sister and our two friends comfortably shower in the nude. I envy their ability to be openly nude in front of everyone in the locker room. But I haven't yet brought myself to do the nude shower thing. The three of them encourage me to just strip-off my swimsuit and face my fear, and they say that it will get easier over time.
If you have any advice for me on how to get past my shyness, I'm open to suggestions.
Oh. And as for the naked conversations. I've seen many women at the Y that just stand around completely buck naked in the locker room carrying on conversations. And often the naked conversations appear to be taking place between women that have never met before.
Kelly