Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Coming out of Hiding

I have a picture of myself from June 09 that was taken at the zoo when my family was visiting Seattle next to a picture taken the day before I turned 30 in October 2010:

This was a year and a half of work, and this photo is the reason I keep moving. This photo has solidified in my mind that I can do this. I have lost more inches since the second picture was taken, but I still refer back to these photos from time to time. 

I was close to 300 pounds and a size 28 in the picture on the left. I was a large girl. And with that being said, I was in hiding. I tried to make myself as small as possible, take up as little space as I could and try to disappear. I didn't want anyone to see me at this weight. I didn't want anyone to notice me at all.

What I realized as I lost the weight was that I wasn't fooling anyone. Everyone that lays eyes on me knows I'm obese. That woman in the pink shirt was really big. No amount of hiding or trying to be small really did anything but make me feel terrible about myself. 

So, I decided quite definitively that I would no longer stay in hiding. So many people don't want anyone to know how much they weigh, or what size clothes they are in. I understand that. I was ashamed for so long. But when I tell someone when I was at my largest I was 315 pounds, no one is surprised. No one who knew me at my biggest bats an eyelash. 

Don't hide behind your weight. Everyone knows you're fat. And while I understand that it sounds cruel and crude, embracing who you are right now will help you move forward into being who you want to be. "Fat" is not a dirty word. I am not fluffy, big-boned, plump, pudgy, chunky or curvy. I am fat. And that's okay. It's only a temporary condition.


  1. Thanks Lynda! I am hoping to post some even better pictures soon! Thanks for stopping by. :)