Thursday, January 27, 2011

A Surprising Lack of Vices

In my late teen years, I smoked pot and cigarettes and drank. In my 20s I drank heavily and up until the month before I turned 30, was the number one fan of Tequila. Little did I know that the sugars from alcohol were blowing my blood sugars out of the water and I went from fun-loving and giggly, to a mean and horrible woman in a split second.

I have always been an emotional eater. Food was my escape from pain or boredom or just something that I could use to brighten an otherwise terrible day. I was a woman with plenty of bad habits and vices. I used alcohol and food to help me make it through hard and confusing times in my life... times that everyone has. But instead of coping in a healthy way, I put band-aids on them. Band-aids that would rob me of my perfect health.

I stopped smoking pot when I was 19 because I saw what it did to me. It made me stupid as hell. At 20, when I met the man who was going to be my future husband I quit smoking. The drinking stopped back in September because of what it turned me into. I am not that nasty angry woman. And now the over-eating has stopped entirely. My body has made that choice for me.

Even all the time I was working out and trying to eat healthy, there were days when I threw my hands up and ate whatever I wanted. December was full of those days. I ate fudge, cookies, gingerbread houses, and chocolates. I was careless with my diet. I could always go back to eating healthy again, but I was enjoying the holidays far too much.

I do not have that luxury any more. My very last vice has been pulled off the table and I am left with no more band-aids. I have no more bad habits to hide behind when the road gets rocky.

Being healthy isn't always just about eating the "right things" or working out until you fall down. Sometimes it's mental health as well. Finding healthy ways to cope with life (because we all know that every days isn't sunshine and unicorns) is just as important as the number of calories you burn in a day.

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