Moving Forward

This week I have had a lot of medical information and ailments thrown my direction. Not only have I been diagnosed with Diabetes, but in three weeks I am going to have surgery to remove a 9.5cm cyst from my left ovary.

Being told all of this in such a short span of time has wrecked my brain from doing anything mildly functional. I have fallen out of the habit of working out because I have been so lost in my head. I can't stop worrying about what will happen during surgery... what the risks are... what the worst case scenario is.... and on and on. Surgery terrifies me to no end. But I need the cyst removed. The risk of rupture gets higher the bigger it gets, and its impeding on my ability to conceive.

I will, from here on out, have to keep track of everything I eat. There can be no slacking off, or forgetting, or binging on cookies before bed anymore. I am going to be put on meds in just over a week and I want to stay on them for the shortest amount of time possible. I am not the type of person that is okay with being on meds my entire life. I hate taking pills. I hate putting things in my body that are not food or water. But I realize I need to do this in order to live a longer, healthier life.

Fitness and healthy eating aren't fads for me. I am happy that I have been taught how to eat, and what to eat, by the people around me. I know the right things to do, and now the only struggle is learning to consistently apply them. I expect nothing to be easy, but I do expect myself to be able to do this regardless of the struggle. I refuse to let any of this beat me.

After recovering from surgery I plan to get back to P90X. I enjoyed the short time I was doing it and I really want to keep it going. I am already in a size 18W and I want to continue to move down in sizes and weight.

This blog may become more of a medical journey for the time being, instead of a working out and weight loss one. But I think it's appropriate. Concerning the Diabetes, I hope it serves as a warning for others. If you don't take care of yourself and your nutrition, this could happen to you.